


The Only Living Boy

by shortcake_04



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Tsukishima Kei, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Karasuno, Light Angst, Mentioned Tsukishima Kei, Mentioned Ukai Keishin, Mentioned Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortcake_04/pseuds/shortcake_04
Summary: Every so often when Tsukishima feels overwhelmed, he likes to take trips to the Natural History Museum to look at the dinosaurs.  One day when he's feeling quite agitated, he decides it's a good day to take a visit over to that familiar place. Everything is going great and he is content being around the things he loves most; but little does he know, this day is going to get way more intense very soon...
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Leaving The House

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Bullying, cursing, violence, mentions of blood, mentions of death
> 
> Hey guys! This is my first fanfic ever and I really like it; I'm genuinely proud of how it turned out! I really hope you all like it too. Tsukki is my comfort character so I just wanted to dive more into his character a bit. This story starts off very pure and gets pretty intense in the middle but I promise there's a happy ending. I'm a big fan of angst with a happy ending so you can expect a lot of that from me in the future. There are some non-canon concepts within the story so I apologize if you don't agree with me but I just wrote it with my own vision of Tsukki in mind. There is no romance involved in this fic but some of mine in the future may be more romantic. In total, there will be 5 chapters in this story so look out for when new chapters are released! Please feel free to leave comments, I love to hear what you have to say! Also I have an instagram specifically for my fan fictions @shortcake_04 so if you want to see more headcanons, want to see my posting schedule, or want to personally DM me, feel free to follow! And please, if you are an artist and are inspired by something in my story, PLEASE tag me in your art because I would absolutely love to see it!! Enjoy :)

I am so frustrated with myself. 

So frustrated from…well…nothing really. I have no real reason to be angry: all of my school work is done, there’s no one around to annoy me, my room is clean, and I did all the chores mom left me. So…why the hell is my head so damn foggy?

I need to calm down a bit. I bend my neck back until the top of my hair reaches the wall. Leaning my head against the stiff wall, I inhale deeply and aggressively exhale as I look up. Staring back at me are the glow-in-the-dark star stickers that are barely stuck to my ceiling anymore; half of them have already fallen down and the rest aren't far behind but they all stopped glowing about 12 years ago when I put them up there.

What the hell could be bothering me? Anyways, that doesn’t matter. What really matters is how am I supposed to make it stop. Ah- I know exactly what to do. I must visit my comfort place: The Miyagi Natural History Museum. I’ll walk there instead of driving because driving will just stress me out more since I’m not too great at it yet and the fresh air will probably be good for whatever’s going on in my stupid noggin.

I lift my head up from the wall and rub my hands down my face. As I yawn, I instinctively raise my right hand up to ruffle my messy blonde hair so that it’s not flat from the wall. Slowly, I pick up my glasses from my nightstand, clean them off on my sweatshirt, and stand up off my bed. God, I should get dressed before I go so that no one thinks I look sluggish while I’m there. Usually I try to dress up a little for my trips to the museum, hoping that the workers there find me respectable enough to maybe one day be their coworker. Scavenging through my drawers, I find my faded brown and green striped sweater and a pair of dark brown corduroy pants that are pretty big on me, but they’ll do; I mean everything is big on me since I’m built like a twig but these pants are just particularly big. I slide the sweater over my head, tuck it into the pants, throw on one of my dad’s old chunky belts that I inherited after he passed, and roll the bottom of my pants up. I slip on a pair of socks with little dinosaur designs on them that I bought at the museum the last time I had gone on a day like this. 

Before I leave, I must feed Charmander because I accidentally forgot to feed him yesterday; but I mean a bearded dragon can survive a day or two without food...right? 

“Hey stinky, crawl out of your hole. I have your food.”

He’s so damn stubborn these days. You’d think he’d come out immediately for food after starving for a day. 

“So… you’re not going to listen to me, are you?

I know I'm probably just seeing things, but for a second I swore he nodded back at me. I got Charmander during year 2 of middle school. I begged my mom for a lizard because they were the pet that visually looked the most like a dinosaur. I know what you're thinking--“But Tsukki! Anatomically birds are the descendants of dinosaurs and therefore look the most like them!”--and to you I say: shut up. Yeah yeah, birds are technically more scientifically closer to a dinosaur than a lizard but 11 year old me saw ol’ Charmander in the pet store window and practically screamed, “Akiteru, look! He looks like a Dimetrodon!” and guilted my mom into buying him. Tadashi and I named him Charmander because of our crippling pokemon addiction that plagued us throughout middle school. As to why I nicknamed him stinky? I don’t know, it just sort of stuck.

I gave him his crickets and grabbed my headphones off the desk while pulling my backpack off of my chair and onto my back. I made sure it contained my wallet, phone, keys, epipen… just all the essentials. I bid my adieu to Charmander and walk out the door. I slip on whatever shoes I had left on the doormat the day before, pull on my beige trench coat, and begin my trek.


	2. The Walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki is making his way into town to pay a visit to the Miyagi Natural History Museum. Taking a walk is usually good medicine for calming you down, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked the first chapter! Again, I apologize for the first three chapters being quite short but I promise the last two chapters will completely make up for it. Please leave comments, I love to hear what you guys have to say! If you want to follow my instagram (I post my own head canons, art, and release dates for mostly Haikyuu and Avatar: The Last Airbender based stuff) the handle is @shortcake_04. Enjoy chapter 2!

As I stepped out into the bright lights of morn, a small headache developed at the core of my forehead.

The warmth of the sun began to heat up my face despite the cold winter air and snow on the ground. I reach for my headphones around my neck and pull them over my ears. The bulkiness of the headphones push my glasses into the side of my face until I adjust them to comfort. 

As I slowly walk along the side of the road, I scroll through my Spotify playlists to try and find the perfect musical vibe for this moment. 

Hmm, nothing too upbeat or loud because I want to have a nice, calming afternoon. My indie playlist? Nah, half of those songs are too poppy for my liking right now and the other half are too alternative. Yam’s K-pop mix? WAY too dancy. The "Karasuno Gang!!" shared team playlist? It’s basically just rap courtesy of Noya and Tanaka and a hell-of-a-lot of American classic rock from Daichi and Suga; The Beatles--courtesy of Asahi--aren't too bad but everything else on that playlist is so loud and aggressive. 

Ah, perfect. My folk playlist. I am a sucker for some American soft acoustic music. There’s nothing more calming than the crisp sounds of a lone guitar and the raspy voice of a singer retelling a personal story. I could listen to a little Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joan Baez, John Denver, or Crosby Stills Nash & Young all day; but my all time favorite--the true gold--is Simon and Garfunkel. 

Hearing their music is like liquid poetry for my ears. Their music is more of an experience than just songs playing in my head. I couldn’t explain to you in words how beautiful and sophisticated the art of Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel is. I’ve spent sleepless nights analyzing their lyrics as if they contain the secrets to the universe--to be honest they probably do. 

No one else really knows about my passion--or possible obsession--for folk music other than Yams. I always feel the need to share all of my stupid overanalyzations of songs with someone and he’s just a good listener. I tend to keep my thoughts to myself knowing that most people would get irritated at the sound of my voice rambling on about a specific topic that they don’t give the slightest f**k about; but Tadashi is… different. He doesn’t mind my constant infodumping, so he receives all of it whether he likes it or not. 

I scroll through the playlist down to where all the Simon and Garfunkel songs reside and contemplate which one I want to hear first. I think “The Only Living Boy in New York” should do, I mean that is kind of how I feel about myself right now. I may sound terribly egotistical saying this but when no one else is around, I’ve convinced myself that the world is somehow still spinning just because I’m here, like everything happens because of me. I feel as if I am the only living boy in Miyagi, Japan. 

I bring myself back down to earth by hearing the first lines of the song:

“Tom, get your plane right on time,” utters Paul Simon directly into my left ear, just as if he’s standing right next to me on this sidewalk. 

Every so often a car will zoom by but other than that it seems pretty dead out today. Despite the shining sun, it is pretty cloudy and the temperature is probably around 5 degrees Celsius so I’m not surprised people are staying in due to the iffy weather. I’ve found that Sundays are the best day to go out anyway because people are usually sleeping in and staying at home on their day off so nothing is busy and it’s pretty peaceful.

I drag my beaten up high-tops on the concrete of the sidewalk and hold my hands in my jacket pockets to keep warm as I slowly but surely make my way to the museum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe I will be posting chapter 3 on Friday so look out for that! Feel free to leave a comment or DM me on my instagram @shortcake_04 with any thoughts because I love hearing your feedback. :)


	3. The Happy Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki arrives at the museum and calms himself down through the tranquility of his favorite exhibit: 'The Ancient History of Dinosaurs and Early Creatures'. His day off has been perfect so far... almost too perfect...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this final fluffy chapter because things take a wild turn in chapter 4. I really enjoy writing about Tsukki doing the things that he enjoys doing most because it's just nice to imagine him being in awe of a dinosaur or drooling over a piece of cake; that explains why I included this chapter hehe. Well, I hope you enjoy the last of the pure chapters...

Approaching the building, I look up at its sleek architecture before climbing the small set of stairs up to the entrance. I pull open the heavy glass door and approach the front desk. I drag my headphones down from my ears and drape them on my long neck. I already have the 900 yen I need for admission in my hand.

“Good morning Kei!” 

Sakura, the desk receptionist, has been working at the Miyagi museum for god knows how long. For the past eight years, she has always been the first person I see as I step into this building. She knows me by name because of how often I used to come here as a kid. 

“You doing okay?” she asks with genuine interest.

She always asks me that but I don’t blame her. My mom used to send me here all the time right after my dad died because it was the only thing that calmed me down. I mean if I knew there was a kid with a dead dad who came to my workplace every other week, I’d ask him if he was okay too.

“As good as ever, you?”

“I’m glad to hear that Kei, I’m doing well. Please tell your mother I said hello!” she smiles as she takes the money out of my boney hand and allows me to walk in. 

Sakura is definitely in her 50’s but she still looks like she could be mistaken for a 30 year old. She really is a kind soul; usually people irritate me when I want to be alone, but every time I see her she makes me feel at home. I think I got so used to using the museum as a coping mechanism for grief that I associated her as a part of that.

As I walk into the main room of the museum, I immediately turn to the left to enter the elevator that brings me up to the third floor. This was so routine to me at this point that I could probably navigate this building in my sleep. I exit the elevator to see the giant sign labeled “The Ancient History of Dinosaurs and Early Creatures.” I smirk at the sight of this familiar place. 

I am greeted by full skeletons of the Tyrannosaurus Rex and Pterodactyl. I take my time analyzing each individual bone--each individual crack--to ease that feeling that was present in me this morning. Within minutes that feeling was fully drained from my mind; I felt neither upset nor frustrated at anything, just content. I spend about an hour and a half looking at all the dinosaurs before walking over to my favorite one: the Sauroposeidon proteles. It has been my favorite since I was a kid because they are the tallest dinosaur species to have ever been discovered.

I went through my first growth spurt at 9 and grew to 5’5’’. Then I went through my second one when I was 11 and I grew to 5’11”. Right now I’m 16-years-old and 6’3''. My doctor says it’s likely I’ll grow a couple more inches before my growing stops.

I never liked being the tall kid. Despite my height being intimidating to some, I was still made fun of by all my classmates. Over the years I’ve developed the habit of slouching when I am sitting and standing to make it appear as if I wasn’t actually THAT tall but it never seemed to work. 

Standing next to the Sauroposeidon proteles made me feel normal, like I didn’t stand out in a crowd of teenagers who are all an average height. I get to feel small for once and I like that. It’s truly humbling to comprehend how small we actually are compared to living creatures in the past. 

________________________________________________________

I think it’s time for me to probably start making my way home so that I don’t worry mom. I walk towards the gift shop and skim through the items; eh, there’s not much here that I don’t already have. 

“Bllrruugghh”

Oh god, what the hell was that. Am I really that hungry and I didn’t notice? I guess I could grab something to eat at the bakery next to the museum.

Wait... Today’s Sunday, YES!! Sundays are the only day that they make my favorite food: the most delicious strawberry shortcake in the world. Miyagi locals go nuts for their shortcake so hopefully they still have some by the time I get there. 

I exit the dino exhibit, tell Sakura to have a good day, and exit the museum. I turn to the left of the building to find the small luxury cake shop sitting there in all its glory. I enter the shop and to my right in the glass case is one beautifully crafted strawberry shortcake. I fumble for my wallet until it slips into my hand.

“Could I get that last shortcake in the case to go? Oh and also a hot chocolate with whipped cream please.”

“Of course, that’ll be 800 yen.”

I hand over 800 yen, grab my food, and walk out the door. Hopefully this hot chocolate will hold me over until I get home because I’d rather eat this cake in my room while I watch a movie than in some random public place. My stomach feels so empty but I know that if I sip my drink now it’ll just burn my mouth. Eh, my tongue could handle a small burn if it means I get something into my stomach.

I pick my drink up to my lips and slowly let the liquid fall into my mouth in hopes that it’s not too hot... SHIT! Ow that hurt, oh my god. The roof of my mouth is on fire and my cheeks go numb. At least it tasted good, like a liquid chocolate bar.

I’m going to let it cool down for now so that I don't burn myself again but for the time being I need some music to walk home to. I pull up my headphones and pull out my phone. My folk playlist is still up from before, nice. Oh I know the perfect song to play on my walk home. I click on Simon and Garfunkel’s “Homeward Bound.” Paul begins to sing:

“I'm sittin' in the railway station, got a ticket to my destination.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes before beginning my trek home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Comments!! I would love hearing your feedback and just being able to talk to you guys! And follow my instagram @shortcake_04 if you want some more haikyuu content! :)


	4. The Walk Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the day is winding down, Tsukki begins to walk home. Though he feels content from his visit to his happy place, something within him is uneasy. Everything is still... too still... he just wants to make it home as fast as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: This chapter contains a lot of graphic depictions of violence, bullying, and mentions of blood. Oop- this one's going to hurt. I hope you all enjoy some angst. Follow my instagram @shortcake_04 for most haikyuu content and so that we can talk (or just feel free to comment on here)! Enjoy, I hope this doesn't hurt too much hehehe.

It’s weirdly quiet. 

No cars. No people out walking. Even the birds aren’t out flying right now.

I pulled my headphones down after noticing that there was no one else around and it is eerily silent; the only sound being the continuous dragging of my heels on the cement and my repetitive breathing. My heart begins to beat faster and I get the chills as my anxiety begins to surface. Why am I anxious? Just because everything is still all of a sudden? Yeah, but it’s too still… 

I begin to walk a bit swiftly in hopes of getting home quicker but right as I pass the alleyway of two buildings--a shoe store and a jeweler--I see two boys around my age emerge from the darkness. I recognize them from primary and middle school, but they definitely don’t go to Karasuno. I'm afraid that they're going to do something to me because I'm outnumbered: two-to-one. No one's around to help if they hurt me; no one will be able to hear me screaming. Shit they’re coming towards me. Oh god. What do I do? I stop walking and freeze in place, my knees shaking with anxiety. 

C'mon just calm yourself down Kei, it's okay... just think, what should I do? What do I do? What do I do? WHAT DO I DO? Shit they’re getting closer.

“Hey skin and bones, what you got in that box there?” one of the boys mocks as he approaches me from behind. 

“It’s- it is a- a...” Shit. I froze.

“Spit it out! What’s in that box?” 

“A cake, it’s a strawberry shortcake…” my voice trembles as the words spill out.

“Oh, so the stick does eat!” the second boy exclaimed. 

As he finishes his sentence, he lunges towards me and with his entire body weight pushes me backwards into the street. Oh god, what are they going to do with me? And there is no one around to help.

I drop my drink and the cake box on the ground as I instinctively throw my arms behind my head to protect it from the solid pavement. I can feel the back of my forearms sting as they make contact with the ground. I close my eyes and flinch as I feel the tips of their steel toe boots make contact with my skin. One of the boys throws his fist into my face and I can taste the familiarity of iron on my tongue.

I try to scream but it's no use, no one would hear me anyway and I'm struggling to get any sound out. Even if I was to get any sound out, they'd just start beating me harder. I get kicked over onto my stomach as both boys grab a hold of my arms to slip off my backpack. At this point I feel so helpless that even trying to fight back would just make it worse.

In between their brutal kicks to my stomach and being beaten with my own backpack, I hear them shout the f slur at me multiple times in between their own personal conversation. I feel the weight of a boot on the side of my head but I think the guy is too afraid he’d kill me if he actually shifted all his weight to that foot so the boot quickly dismounts. My ears begin to ring as I fade in and out of consciousness from the wind being knocked out of me multiple times in a matter of minutes. 

I'm practically passed out when a large hand grabs my collar as the taller of the boys leans down to my face to say one last thing:

“Your dad would laugh at you if he were still alive today…”

He lets go of my collar by pushing my chest into the ground as he spits onto my limp body. The sound of their boots colliding with the same cement my face was currently in a relationship with seemed surreal. They were finally leaving as I lay there like a coward. I feel like a loser, like in the puzzle of life I’m the missing piece. I can’t move. I can't think. My face feels wet sitting in the pool of blood and sweat surrounding my head. The pain is unbearable but I hadn’t really felt any of it until they actually walked away.

I slowly open my eyes to a blurry world. My bloody hands reach out for my glasses on the ground only to find them a couple feet away shattered into a million pieces after the shorter boy stomped on them. Despite the cracks in the glass, I put them on in hopes of keeping at least some piece of my dignity. God what am I saying, I lost all my dignity right as the first strike was took. 

I sputter out a mouthful of blood into the street as warm tears begin to swell up in my eyes uncontrollably. I wipe the tears away on the palms of my hands as I begin to sit up. My bag is gone. My cake is gone. My headphones are gone. All that I have left is my phone in my jacket pocket that is likely to be shattered from contact with the ground and a room temperature hot chocolate that had been spilled all over the road. 

It took everything in me to stand up after that but once I was up, I began running for dear life. My tears fly off the sides of my face as the wind blows past me. 

Where could I go from here? There’s no way I’m going home like this. Mom would take one look at me and probably faint. I couldn’t go to the police or hospital either because they’d just call my mom and then she’d faint in a public place, even worse. I am definitely not going to Yam’s house because I just know he’d see me in pain and immediately burst into tears. There’s only one place that I could think of going to...

Hopefully he can help me, hopefully he can make this all better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did it hurt as much as you expected?? Sorry for that :)


	5. Getting Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being jumped while on his walk home, Tsukki must find comfort from someone--anyone--who will help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Finally, the happy ending lol. I hope you enjoyed the story as a whole; it was my first ever fanfic so hopefully it was pretty good for being my first! Tell me your thoughts either in the comments or in my instagram DM's @shortcake_04 :) I love you all, thank you for reading and expect more from me in the future!

“H- Hey Coach...” 

I take a moment to catch my breath as I enter the convenience store, tears still streaming down my bloodied cheeks. My voice breaks everytime I try to speak. Coach Ukai seems incredibly focused on his mopping of one of the store's aisles.

“What did I tell you boys about bothering me at wor-” mid-sentence he turns to look at me as he drops his mop onto the half-cleaned floor. “Oh god kid, what happened to you?”

I struggle to breathe as the crying affects my air flow. 

“Wait...stop. C’mere Tsukki.”

He walks toward me and grabs my shoulder to escort me behind the counter. He gestures for me to sit in the old wooden chair by the cash register.

“Sit here, gimme a second to close the store.” 

He pulls out a large paper and sharpie from under the counter and begins writing ‘Temporarily Closed for an Emergency. Will be Opened Again in About an Hour.' He tapes the made up poster onto the front door and locks it before jogging towards me. He stands directly in front of me while I focus my head on the floor.

“So, kid…Do you want to tell me what happened?”

I can’t get myself to look up at him. I have a staring contest with his dirty old work boots as I struggle to get my words out; I open my mouth to talk but the words just aren’t coming out. I choke back a sob as a tear falls from the tip of my eyelashes down to my knees. I feel the weight of his large hand grabbing onto my boney, busted open shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay. Take your time… in the meantime I’ll grab some bandages and a rag to get you cleaned up and you can calm down a bit. We’ll talk when you’re ready.”

I hesitantly nod while still transfixed on the floor. He walks away from me and disappears in the back. In the distance I can hear the sink water being turned on and the sound of Ukai’s boots hitting the tile floor. I pull my arm up to my face and rub tears onto my jacket sleeve, leaving a large blood stain on the beige arm. Oh good, there are tissues under the counter. I blow my nose and spit out some blood into a tissue before I hear the sink turning off. Coach comes back holding a wet rag in one hand and a first aid kit in the other. He walks back up to me and this time I actually build up the courage to look up at him.

“Shit kid, you’re really beaten up. Lean your head back a bit for me.”

I follow his orders and tilt my head back slightly. He gently grabs my chin between his index and his thumb to steady his grip and begins lightly tapping at my bloodied face with the dripping rag. The cold water stings as it makes contact with my open skin, though it is a refreshing type of pain. 

“I hope the water isn’t too cold; I tried warming it up for you but the store water is always pretty cold, sorry.”

“N- no… it’s fine. Thank you,” I mutter out.

“No problem at all. Tell me if I’m hurting you at all, m’kay?” he says, quite gentle.

“Mmm-hmm.”

The water entering my wounds hurts like a mother but I’m not going to say anything about it. I mean the man closed his store for me for Christ's sake and you think I have the audacity to say, ‘Owie! That hurts! And the water is too cold too!’ I’m a jerk sometimes, but I’m not that much of an asshole. 

“Do you have blood in your mouth? Open yer mouth for me.”

I widely unclench my jaw to let him see my blood soaked tongue. A disgusted look on his face appears through the cocking of his left eye-brow. 

“Jeez, let me get you some water so you can wash your mouth out.”

He hands me the rag to continue cleaning my face as he jogs over to one of the refrigerators. The cold air escapes the large box as he slightly shivers while pulling out a bottle of water. The door slams with a smacking sound as he makes his way back toward me. He extends his arm holding the bottle for me to grab.

“Swish this in your mouth and just spit into that bucket over there.”

I grab the cold bottle from his grip and twist open the cap. I take a swig and swish it around my mouth until the coldness of the water is overtaken by the warmth of my blood. I pick up the bucket next to me and spit out the watered down blood. Usually I wouldn't do something like that because it's gross, but at this point I truly don't care anymore. With the rest of the water, I hold the bottle to my forehead as a makeshift ice pack. 

“Did you lose any teeth?” he asks with interest.

I drag my tongue across the top and bottom rows of teeth and feel nothing missing. I shake my head.

“Good, dental work is expensive these days.”

He’s leaning sideways onto the side of the counter and struggling to make conversation, probably because he’s never had to deal with a 16-year-old boy coming to him like a lost puppy who's been kicked one too many times. At this point the tears have stopped but I’m still very much on edge and recovering from the uncontrollable sobs. My breathing is unstable and heavy, but it is getting better. 

“Speaking of expensive," he breaks the silence. "I hope your glasses don’t cost too much. Do you know what your prescription is? There are some random frames in the back of the store, I could look if I have anything close to yours if you want.” 

I reluctantly begin to respond, though my body reacts like I'm allergic to the words.

“...uhh… -4.25… I’m nearsighted...” my voice is weak and crackly, like an old record.

“Oh, so the boy does talk!” he jokes.

“...yeah…”

He looks like he regrets the joke immediately after he says it. I feel like he thinks it was inappropriate timing; honestly his timing wasn’t as bad as he thinks. 

“Well, lemme go look if I have anything close.”

He stomps to the back of the store and disappears behind an aisle end cap. His disembodied voice yells back to me as if he was in a completely different room. 

“I have a -3.5?” he screams.

“Th- that’s fine” my voice barely replicating even a slight raising of a voice. 

He reappears from the aisle with glasses in hand and sets them on the counter. I slowly raise my right arm to pull my half broken, blood covered frames off my face. Not until I'm holding onto my glasses did I realize my entire body is shaking. I can’t keep my hands still.

“Are these going to give you a headache?” he says pushing the new, clean glasses towards me. I can’t help but chuckle at that one. Chuckling through the pain… the tears… the fear…

“How could they give me any more of a headache than I already have?” I remark.

He does a small nose exhale laugh; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him laugh at my dry sense of humor. I put the glasses on and look up at him to check if I can see. Definitely clearer than the cracked ones but not even close to as good as my old ones. 

“How are they?” he looks at me with interest. 

“Better than the broken ones, thank you.”

My voice is getting stronger as I talk more. Looking up, I see him staring at the new glasses.

“Sorry the glasses are women’s glasses, I didn’t have any others close to your prescription.”

I hadn’t noticed.

“Oh, it’s fine. Anything is better than the broken ones.” I hope to god that they don't make me look like an idiot; then again I was just crying like a baby right in front of Ukai's eyes.

“Ok good. Sooo… you ready to talk about what happened?”

Chills take over my body. I know I have to tell him sometime, so I take a deep breath and look up to make eye contact with him.

“Yeah, I guess I’m ready..." I brace myself for the story that is inevitably coming up soon. "So this morning I felt a strange feeling, like I was irritated but at nothing in particular. Ever since I was a little kid, whenever I felt overwhelmed I would walk into town by myself to visit the Miyagi Natural History Museum-” 

“The natural history museum? What kind of kid enjoyed the natural history museum? Didn’t you find it boring?” he cuts me off. 

I audibly scoff. It blows my mind that some people aren’t as fascinated by the Mesozoic era as I am.

“Of course not! Almost all of my most prominent childhood memories have taken place in “The Ancient History of Dinosaurs and Early Creatures” room. I plan on applying for a job there once I graduate, which I’ve already talked to the owners about. All of the workers know me because of how often I used to go there after my dad died.” 

I stop talking after I mention my dad. He perks up at hearing what I let slip.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know your dad had passed.”

He looks panicky at the thought of having to comfort me through grief. I have to reassure him.

“No, it’s fine. He died when I was eight so it doesn’t affect me much anymore, but it hit me hard at the time. Losing a parent that young can really mess with your head.”

I look over to see if he has anything to add. He’s just nodding in agreement so I guess I’ll continue.

“Well anyway, I went to see the dinosaurs to clear my head and afterwards went to the bakery next door to get myself a strawberry shortcake. That went smoothly and I decided it was time to head home so that I don’t worry my mom. So I… I began walking home-”

I struggle to continue and he can tell. He’s being patient with me, allowing me to take my time as I process the traumatic event. I appreciate that. He’s a good guy despite being the “cocky bachelor” type.

“It’s ok, don’t push the words out. Take your time,” he speaks in soft tones.

“Th- thank you…”

I unconsciously grab at the back of my neck because that’s my brain's automatic response to being nervous. I forgot that the skin on my neck is all scraped up from the fall and I wince as my cold fingers touch the hot wound. I take a couple deep breaths in preparation of retelling the event so soon after it occured.

“O- o- okay. I can tell you now... As I was walking home, I noticed that everything seemed so still; but not a peaceful kind of still, more of an eerie quietness. I was walking past an alley way when two boys emerged from the darkness.”

“Did you know these boys?” he cuts me off.

“Huh? Oh… yeah. I’ve known them since primary school. They’ve always been bullies to any type of kid who wasn’t as popular as them. They didn’t end up going to Karasuno but I definitely used to be in a couple classes with them in middle school, not too sure what their names are though. I remember when my dad died, the entire class made a little book for me of positive messages to cheer me up and they were the only ones not to write anything...”

He takes a deep breath and grabs his chin in thought. He slowly nods as he takes in all the shocking information.

“Ok, keep going with the story.”

To keep myself from breaking down again, I pick a spot on the floor to focus on as I talk. My fingers are intertwined with each other as my knuckles begin turning white from the amount of pressure I’m putting on them.

“So they come out of the alley way and ask me what’s in the box I was holding. Of course I tell them that it’s just cake after stumbling a bit to talk but then one of them pushed me to the ground. They kicked me, punched me, stepped on my face, stole my backpack which had my keys and wallet in it, and they took the box of cake. They also said a lot of upsetting stuff to me and before leaving me there to rot. It was so much worse that there was no one around to help or defend me, like I had to get myself up and run all the way here. I was in so much pain afterwards that I just layed on the concrete for a while... I laid there and cried like a coward…” a single tear begins falling down my pale cheek.

He gives me a death glare before speaking up.

“HEY! Never EVER call yourself a coward! You are not a coward! No teammate of mine is a coward!" he violently points at me to emphasize his point. "You are one of the strongest guys I know and just because you couldn’t defend yourself in a two-to-one fight doesn’t make you in any way, shape, or form a coward. I wish I had been there...I would’ve put those little assholes in their place,” he cracks his knuckles as if he'd be ready to throw a punch if either of those boys were to enter right at that moment. 

I lose my staring contest with the floor as I look up to see him all red in the face. His blood is boiling. I didn’t expect him to get so angry at the other guys, I just thought he’d make fun of me for not fighting back. 

“Anyways, what kind of stuff did they say to you?"

“Hmm? Oh… nothing too memorable,” I lied.

“Don’t lie to me Kei. You wouldn’t have mentioned that they said stuff to you if it wasn’t important.”

Shit, I just let that slip without thinking. I don’t want to start crying again but I can feel it coming. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever cried in front of anyone other than my mom, Akiteru, Yams, my old therapist, and some hospital doctors. Usually I’m able to hold in the emotions, to not feel them until I’m alone; but today is just different. I can’t control them and they’re all coming at once. My emotions are flooding my head like a great tsunami as they slowly take over my body. My throat gets tight again and my eyes begin to sting from the tears. A weak voice begins powering through my vocal chords.

“Th- They called me a stick- and s- skin and bones...” I shakily reply

Ukai looks over at me with great focus. I thought he wouldn’t take me seriously hearing what those boys said to me, but by the looks of his eyes he is dead serious. He cuts me off.

“Do names like that hurt your feelings?” he looks at me with an empathetic look in his eyes.

“...sort of…”

“Don’t listen them, their name-calling is so childish and idiotic. So what if you're a little skinny? That just means it’ll be easier for you to get ripped in the future. You can’t let their words get to you because their words mean nothing. You shouldn’t be ashamed of how you look just because you may be slightly taller or slightly skinnier than other kids your age. Like hell kid I remember being in high school just a couple of years ago--something like 7 or 8 years, Christ. Anyways my grandfather, Coach Ukai Sr., never let me grow my hair out because he thought it looked unprofessional--scruffy he’d call it--so I always had a shaved head. As my legal guardian, of course I had to follow his rules and so for my entire high-school career I was known as the bald kid. The other kids in my grade were BRUTAL man, calling me everything from ‘egg’ to ‘Mr Potatohead’ to ‘Dr. Evil.” Obviously that hurt then but looking back at it now, if I had just let all of their comments go I would’ve saved myself from so many sleepless nights. Don’t stress their dumb insults, I promise it’ll just make it worse for you. Plus if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you look anything like a stick,” He chuckles. “What else did they say to you?”

Huh, I had no idea that Ukai used to be teased like me for how he looked. It seems like he has so much more confidence than I ever will but at one point in time he was at the bottom of the totem pole just like me. It makes me feel better knowing that he turned out fine after years of being berated because that means maybe I’ll turn out fine too. He really is good at making me feel better. I should probably tell him what else they said...he can probably help me get over it.

“They also kept c- calling m- me… the f slur…”

I break my eye contact with him and go back to having a staring contest with the floor. The tears begin to arise again and I can feel them fall down my busted open cheeks. The acidic drops make their way to my cracked lips as I lick the salty water away. Ukai’s serious look transforms into a look of sympathy as he walks over to me. His large stature becomes small as he kneels down in front of me. His heavy hand rests on my knee and he forces me to look him in the eyes. 

“Tsukki, look at me." he pulls my head up to reach his. "I do not care what sexuality you are and you don’t have to tell me. You could like girls, boys, both, neither; It does not matter to me nor should it have to matter to anyone. You can love who you want to love and yeah there will always be someone who doesn’t want it that way but their opinion is irrelevant because they’re not living your life. I’m guessing they were calling you that because they also know Yamaguchi?”

My eyes wander around trying their hardest not to lock with his. My breathing is unsteady.

“Y-yeah. Yamaguchi and I were already friends when we went to school with those guys. Yams and I have always been inseparable because w- we never had anyone else other than each other. I’ve never met anyone who’s understood me like Tadashi; I mean he’s my best friend, like a second brother to me.”

He slightly tilts his head to the left in an interested manner. He thinks for a moment before speaking.

“There’s nothing wrong with having one close friend and it’s no one’s business if you are more than friends or not. People shouldn’t assume your sexuality solely based on the fact that you have one really close friend that you could possibly be dating. I have no idea if you’re even fully aware of your sexuality yet at your age but I know I definitely wasn’t.”

He hesitates and takes a deep, low breath.

“When I was your age, I thought there was two things I could be: I could like girls and be straight or I could like boys and be gay. So you can imagine how confused 16-year-old Ukai was when he didn’t fit into one of those boxes.”

Could Coach be bisexual? I had no idea. I mean I’ve never seen him dating anyone so I guess I just assumed he was straight. He seems like the “bachelor ladies-man” type so I thought he’d only be into women but I guess not. I really shouldn’t have assumed his sexuality.

“I’ve dated my fair share of women and men all throughout high school and college and I was able to discover myself and understand myself more because of it. I’m happier now that I know who I am. At your age you shouldn’t need to stress over labels on your sexuality and it is completely normal to question it. Just make sure you never let anyone make fun of you for who you love, okay?”

Now he’s having a staring contest with the floor, like he’s looking for a bit of support. I guess we’re both a little bit broken and need each other to be glue. I look up to see his yellow-blonde hair in front of my face. Now that he’s closer to me, I can smell the stench of smoke coming from all over him. I gotta say something to him, he just opened up to me for Christ's sake. 

“Coach I didn’t know you liked girls and boys; Thanks for telling me though. I won’t tell anyone about it if it makes you uncomfortable…”

He looks up to meet my gaze.

“Nah, it’s fine. Most people know at this point so it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m surprised you didn’t already know from Suga though because we talked about it one time.”

He gains one of those cocky smirks he’s always wearing in replacement of his usual statue-esque mug. He has an awkward smile, like a teenage boy trying to force a nice face in a photo. His smile almost looks evil but I can tell that it’s genuine.

“Yeah… I don’t know how I feel about my own sexuality. I’ve never had romantic feelings for a girl but on the other hand I haven’t had them for a boy either. I mean I’ve always felt connected to Yams in a way that I’ve never felt with anyone else but I have no idea if that’s what love feels like or just having a best friend. I don’t really know who I am yet so I guess comments like that shouldn’t bother me…” 

He stretches his arms before leaning back on the counter. He extends his arms onto the surface and forces his body up onto the counter to use as a makeshift chair since I was occupying the only chair in the store. 

“You don’t need to know all that right now so just live your life and eventually you'll just know. For now, don’t let their slurs intimidate you. Well anyways, did they say anything else?”

Oh god. All the other things they said to me are things that I’ve been hearing my entire life--“You're so skinny, you’re like a twig!” and “Ha! Gay boy!”--so they didn’t sting as much as they could have but this last one… the last thing they said to me felt like a bullet in my chest. I can feel my stomach tightening just thinking about the boy's words. I feel like if I say it out loud that I might faint or vomit or just die on the spot. God I don’t want to say it out loud. I develop goosebumps throughout my entire body as I unconsciously begin to shake. I feel like crying again but I physically can’t. My eyes widen and my entire being tenses up. My voice is feeble but I know I must tell him.

“Y- y- your dad would laugh at you if he were still alive today…”

I sit there as chills go down my spine. Ukai’s eyes widen in shock and his cocky smile fades into an emotionless ball. I swallow the knot in my throat. The silence between us is deafening. He covers his face with his hands before pulling them down to rub his thoughts into his brain. A deep sigh escapes him as he processes what I’d just told him. It takes him a minute to come up with something to say in response as I feel as if I’m withering away by the second.

“Shit kid, I’m sorry you had to hear that. That's terrible.”

My head is hanging low, lower than before to the point that the top of my head is equal to his eyes. This thought is going to rot in my mind if I don’t tell anyone; I need to tell him. 

“But...what if it’s true…”

Immediately he is jumping down from the counter and is standing right in front of me. Both of his hands are gripping my biceps, a little bit too tight. My head still faces the floor as I lose all control. Uncontrollable sobs leave my body as if they’ve been stuck inside me for all 16 years of my life. The tears restrict my breathing as I take large gasps for air. In a surreal moment of heavy emotion, I feel Coach pulling my body up from the chair and pulling me into his chest. Though I am a couple inches taller than him, I bury my face into his shoulder as he holds the back of my head. My muscles feel weak, like I’d be collapsed onto the floor if it wasn’t for his tight hug keeping me up. His sweatshirt becomes flooded with my tears and I can feel his unsteady breath in his lungs. Through my loud emotional breakdown, he attempts to calm me down.

“Shhh...shhh... Kei, listen to me. Those boys were trying their hardest to get to you because that’s all they wanted: a reaction. I know for a fact that if your father were here today that he’d be proud of you. Proud of the well-spoken, intelligent, loyal, hell-of-a volleyball player you’ve become. Tsukki, I have no idea what your father was like but let me tell you, if I were your dad then I’d have a hell of a lot of things to be proud of. You are an amazing kid, Kei. Those boys are the scum of the earth and you’re practically Einstein standing next to them. Their words should mean nothing to you Tsukki because they are nothing.” 

I try to calm myself down by wiping my eyes and taking some deep--yet shaky--breaths. He continues coaching me through my sobs as my tears die down. Grabbing my arms, he pulls me away from his chest so that we could make eye contact. 

“Feeling any better? I can tell you haven’t had a good cry like that in a while," he looks at me with concerned, yet caring eyes.

I wipe my tears with my forearm on my jacket sleeve.

“I- I don’t think I’ve ever cried like that before. I tend to internalize my feelings," I sniffle through each word.

“Internalizing your emotions isn’t good for mental health. If you keep your feelings inside, eventually you’ll blow up and have a huge breakdown.”

My sniffling and hics make up most of my contribution to our conversation. 

“Blow up? Like what I did just now?” I say, softly.

“Yeah, kind of. I’m just glad I was here to help, it would’ve been so much worse if you were alone for this blow up. You would’ve been so scared-”

Instead of him pulling me into a hug, I initiate it this time. The wind gets knocked out of him from the tightness of my thankful embrace. This time, my chin goes over his shoulder rather than buried into it.

“Thank you coach. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t here to help. I’m sorry you had to see me like this and that I bothered you during work hours. I won’t do it again... I promise.”

“Please, never hesitate to reach out to me. I know I pretend like I don’t care about you boys but I’d do anything for any one of you. Obviously don’t just barge into my shop randomly to just bother me for the sense of bothering me; but if you’re ever in trouble or having a hard time with something, just shout. I’m always here. It’s never a burden on me to help one of my players.” 

I let go of him and sit back on my chair. He slides the box of tissues my way. I wipe my eyes and blow my nose as my breath slowly comes back to normal. I feel better already. I think all I needed was to talk to someone--anyone--about some of my problems. I guess facing my feelings really does help.

“So, quickly. Tell me a bit about your dad if you’re comfortable.”

I twiddle my fingers together as I recall my past. 

“Okay... When I was a kid before my dad had passed, he tended to always like my older brother more than me. Akiteru was the tough guy; the athlete. I was the little nerd who obsessed over dinosaurs. He liked that my brother played volleyball so to try and get his attention I started playing volleyball. Most people think I started playing because I wanted to be like my brother, but I just wanted my dad to notice me. I think my dad thought I was too soft and so I would change my personality every time I was around him; that’s when I began holding everything in. To be honest, I loved my dad even if he didn’t care too much for me. I remember when he died that I felt like I was a bad person for not feeling particularly sad. My mom and brother were devastated and I was just sort of there, living though he was gone. I had to watch my entire family suffer through grief as my life just went on. He died from a heart attack on November 17th, 2004...Ever since then my entire life has changed. I went from being the tall kid at school to being the kid who didn’t have a dad. My mom never remarried so I’ve never really had a dominant male figure in my life that I could look up to. I idolized my brother for a bit but that sort of took a sour turn at some point when he lied to me about a very big aspect of his life. This is going to sound so awkward and I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable, but this is where you come into play...”

He looks at me, confused.

“I came to see you after being jumped because... I see you as sort of a fatherly-type figure…” I slowly speak in his direction.

He looks very surprised before doing one of those awkward smirks again.

“I- I had no idea. I mean I see all you boys kind of like sons, I just never thought any of you thought of me like that. I’m glad I could be that dominant male figure in your life, hopefully I’m doing a good job at it. Also, I understand that pain that you feel. My dad abandoned me and my mom when I was seven and then my mom got sick and passed when I was twelve. I was constantly looking for parental-type figures that could replace the hole left in my heart after becoming an orphan. Fortunately for me, I had my grandfather to watch over me but I can understand what it's like to be missing a parent. But I'm so glad that I can be that father figure for you. You deserve to be able to have people to look up to for advice and support, and I will always be that for you."

He chuckles a bit and I can’t help but smile at him. After laughing, he gains the first ever real smile I’ve seen him pull. I’m not sure if it’s from the blood loss, the head ache, or my over-emotional state, but I swear to god he started looking a bit like how I remember my dad. 

“Welp, I hope you know you can come to me for any fatherly questions and I’ll try to continue being a positive role model for you. I wouldn’t want any son of mine smoking or drinking or anything like that," his real smile shines bright at me.

He reaches into his apron pocket and pulls a cigarette out before balancing it between his lips. His lighter makes a ‘Ka-ching’ noise as he opens it and lights the end. He inhales before reaching up to put the cigarette in between his index and middle finger. Smoke begins filling up in the room as I think about the fact that I left my inhaler at home today. At least it wasn’t in my backpack to be stolen, but it’d probably be helpful to have right about now. 

“Coach...you do those things. And actively in front of me if I may add," I sarcastically remark.

“Well just don’t do it or I’ll have to beat your ass, ya hear me?” he jokingly chuckles again.

“Yessir,” I nod.

I’m smiling back at him now. I’m glad he didn’t find it totally weird that I saw him as a replacement for my own father, that is a relief. He jumps down from the counter again, shakes his hair down, and adjusts his headband as he talks.

“Ok, so did you eat anything today?”

“Nope, that’s why I bought the cake for myself.”

“I’ll tell you what: I have some sponge cake, cool whip, and strawberries in the store. I know it won’t be as good as your fancy bakery cake but at least it’s something. Would you want that because I’m gonna make you eat something.”

“That would be really good, thank you.”

He begins pacing around the store, stopping at the refrigerators for the strawberries and whipped cream and going through each aisle looking for the cake. He comes back to the counter with all three items stacked in his arms. 

“Here ya go Tsukki, eat up.”

My stomach feels like a desert from the lack of food all day. I am so excited to eat he doesn’t even know. As I open the packaging of the foods, I have a realization.

“Hey coach?”

“Hmm?”

“Could you not tell my mom about this? She’ll just worry about me, that I’m getting bullied again. Oh and also don’t tell Yamaguchi, he also gets worried about me sometimes. I guess what I’m saying is that I think this would be better to keep between just us if that’s ok with you? I said a lot of stuff that I’m not very comfortable sharing with other people so if this whole thing could stay between you and me then that would be really appreciated," I say between bites of creamy strawberries and fluffy cake.

“Of course kid. Now you, go ham on that cake. I need to make a phone call in the back so just relax here for a bit.”

He pulls his cellphone out of his pocket and walks into the back room of the store. I can tell that he thinks I can’t hear him from out here, but every single word is as clear as day.

“Hello? Is this Mrs. Tsukishima? Hi this is his coach, Keishin Ukai. He told me not to call you because he knew that it’d just worry you but I couldn’t just let this go without you knowing. On his walk home from the museum today he was attacked by a couple of boys. His bag with his wallet in it was stolen and he was pretty beat up but I don’t think there’s any need for a hospital visit. He came to me because he said he had nowhere else to go so I’ve been with him for the past hour and he is safe. I fed him and cleaned him up a bit. We talked through a bunch of things and I hope you’re ok with him telling me a lot about your late husband? Yeah, I’m sorry to hear of his passing. Well, I can have him stay here at the store with me until we close and then I could give him a ride back to your house because I don’t want him to walk by himself after what happened today. I believe your house is actually on the way to mine so it’s no problem for me to give him a ride as long as you're ok with it? Ok cool. I’ll drive him over in about an hour. Could I ask one thing of you? Just don’t tell him I told you anything about what happened because I swore that I wouldn’t tell anyone and he isn’t fully comfortable talking about what happened yet. Ok thank you so much. No problem, I would do anything for that kid; he reminds me of a younger version of myself. You raised one hell of a trooper. Yeah, okay. Bye.”

In usual cases, hearing that would make me pissed. He completely disregarded the promise we had just made but for some odd reason I feel absolutely no anger towards him at all. He did the right thing by telling my mom even though I didn’t want her knowing. I mean if I were in his shoes I’d probably do the same. 

As I eat the stale shortcake and overripe strawberries, I reflect on everything that happened in the past hour and think about how great of a person Coach Ukai actually is. I never realized how important he is in my life. It’s also weird that I never realized how similar we are to each other; how he was the same as me at my age. 

Maybe we aren’t so different after all… Maybe I don’t feel like the only living boy anymore...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed and are satisfied with the ending. You are all wonderful people so I genuinely am very thankful for you all. If you want to follow my haikyuu/a:tla/anime-in-general instagram page to hear about my new stories I'm writing, follow @shortcake_04 :) have a good day!

**Author's Note:**

> There will be 5 chapters in this story so look out for all of those! I post updates of when I will post the next chapters on my instagram @shortcake_04 so if you want to see my posting schedule, you can find it there. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments! If you want to draw art based on my work, tag my instagram so that I can see please! Thanks for reading :)


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